Let’s talk Dirty


Being a child of the 80’s the first thought I have when I hear the phrase Talk Dirty, is the hair band Poison’s hit from 1987,  “Talk Dirty to Me”, and then it stays in my head all day long.

Thanks a lot Bret Michaels and bring on the dirty talk! Yummy!

Anyhow, back to the matter at hand, learning to talk dirty or write dirty in search of sexual pleasure.

We’ve all done it, for those of you that don’t know, it’s also called pillow talk. But nowadays with the invention of the internet, writing dirty is easier than talking dirty.

Also with the invention of cellphones, ‘sexting’ has become a popular activity for couples away from each other all day long.  You see my friends, chatting dirty online causes us no embarrassment, whereas trying to talk dirty to someone makes us laugh or causes embarrassment.

I have noticed that chatting dirty gives people more freedom of expression than speaking dirty thoughts do. We’ll sext or type dirty all day long, revealing our innermost fantasies, but if you want us to speak out loud and talk dirty it’s hard because finding the right words is more complicated than you might think, and laughter always rears its ugly head, great mood killer for sure. That is, of course, unless you have phone sex operator experience….wait, that’s right, I do! So let me indulge you, shall I?

We’ll start out with simple phrases that anyone can pull off, will absolutely still drive your man bonkers, I kid you not.

  • Ooh, that feels good..”
  • I love when you do that…”
  • Mmmm…”
  • Yes

See? Easy peasy, no problem and you’ve probably already uttered those phrases in the throes of passion at one time or another. For a lot of men these are the only feedback they need, because they know you’re happy and you’re being satisfied. If you’re ready to step it up just a notch, here are some starters for you.

  • Oh Wow
  • Please don’t stop
  • Harder
  • Deeper
  • Faster

Such simple phrases will add so much more impact when whispered between gasps of breath.  Nothing to it, the guys thrive on these, and you aren’t even embarrassed are you?

Now we’ll step it up one more little notch by forming whole sentences in bed. You know, if you can with all the sex you’ll be having. *wink*

  • Yes, give it to me!”
  • Just like that, keep going!”
  • Please don’t stop!” ( I know, I repeated myself, it’s all in the punctuation mark though…)
  • Oh damn, harder!”
  • Fuck it like you mean it!” (sorry, I HAD to go there!)

Once you’ve mastered these simple phrases and words, you’ll be well on your way to talking dirty to your man, without incident. Be creative, and change the words to what you’re comfortable with. These are not etched in stone phrases and sounds, these are just little suggestions to steer you in the right direction.

Now, outside of the bedroom, be subtle to build sexual tension, or be direct to make him hard immediately, try them both out and see which works better for you two. Here are some ideas in case you’re stumped on dirty talk outside of the bedroom. (note: these are NOT subtle because that’s just how I roll!!)

  • I’m so hot right now, I’d jump your bones if you were here.”
  • “Wait until we get home later, I’m gonna ride you so hard…”
  • “I want you so bad right now, my pussy is dripping, wanna taste?”
  • “I need you to bend me over and fuck it like you stole it right now!”

The list goes on. Go ahead and try out some of these suggestions on your man or woman, see how turned on they get, and see if it makes a difference in your sexual pleasure or theirs. Whether you take the direct approach or the subtle approach to dirty talk, make sure you OWN it! Enjoy and don’t forget to get more creative.